Hitting Home

I love cemeteries. Seems strange, but true. They're so peaceful and beautiful to me. I used to love to go out to Westlawn and turn all the flowers and flower pots back over that had fallen down. When I lived in the mountains, they had this yearly celebration called "decoration" where all the families would come to the cemetery where their spouses, parents, grandparents and great grandparents were buried in order to put new flowers on all the graves at the same time. It was a magnificent, colorful, poetic place.

A few weeks ago Mom's stone marker finally was put in, so last weekend we went to see it. She and my grandmother were both cremated as they "didn't need anyone seeing them" in that state. I fully agree as seeing my father "in that state" was just God awful. So, my Aunt Debby, Brooks, and I got Mom a plaque to go right next to Grandma's in our family's burial plot out at Westlawn. Yeah...we're high falootin'. We have a whole spread. Crazy Uncle Henry, my Great Great Grandfather Trannie (yes, that was his name), his wife Annie and her daughter Susie (both of whom he married). It's a whole thing. Don't judge me. You have a crazy family too.

Anyway,  we went out to see the stone. It's exactly what we wanted. And it solidifies her death, which is just gut wrenching. Seeing her birthday and her death date made it real and tangible, and I would have lost it in that moment, but then my Sadie took off. She ran around 50 other graves, almost into the gravel road while I screamed for her to stop. Through Joneses and McPhersons, Jollies and Stallings, Listers and Cranks, I chased her. I'm so sorry for stepping on so many people's graves. In the past, they felt it, I suppose.

We eventually made it over to Daddy's grave. And that makes me want to crumble too, but I was with my people at a happy place, so I was ok. My daddy loved the poem "Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there, I do not sleep." This is why I love those "resting" places. Those that we love are not there, but sweet memories are. They do not sleep.

"Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die."

Yeah...about that

Ok, so it's February. I have blogged once, run twice, and gone to church thrice, but who's judging? I would be judgy about anyone using "thrice" in a sentence in 2017, but I have to even out the cussing with the fancy talk somehow. So the New Years Resolutions have gone down like a drunk girl on Spring Break. I HAVE done a better job on the 4th resolution in that I try to put my damn phone up once in awhile and actually put feet (and butt) on the ground and play with my kids. Today we walked 2.5 miles through some woods. Then Charlotte and I went and got our nails done with some delightful people at the salon. I mean, who doesn't like hanging out and telling disgusting inspirational birthing stories with complete strangers? There is nothing that brings rando women together like discussing popping out babies with all the colorful language that acompanies the pain, rips, tears and stitches that these sweet children gave us. God bless.

Look at this artistic picture. She was about to run away from us into the nature behind her, but it sure looks pretty.

This is my new life (and I'm a little salty about it)

For Mom...

My New Year's resolutions have four major points: prayer, parenting, running, blogging. I'm trying to work out my beef with God and I realize we should have gone to church today, but we were so very tired. And the kids were up early. I promise, lots more church this year. I know you are not judging and didn't used to like organized religion, but I suspect you know more now....at any rate, we did do our usual Sunday family outing together. If we don't go to church, we spend time together which I feel like puts us closer to God. You tell me.

Parenting. I want to be a better parent. I took the kids on a run today. Charlotte was The Flash and Sadie would run run really fast and then get out of breath and sit down and say "I'm so tired" and then run run run again. It was fun. Then we came home and "baked" cookies in the Easy Bake Oven. I say that loosely because those cookies were just slightly warmed cookie dough. I mean, obviously we would have loved it. The problem is that after we did all that, I let them play on their Kindle Fires and they were fine, but when I am not playing with them or they are not in their technology, they are insane. I just don't know what to do. 

I ran with the kids. I ran for a bit after I escaped and left them inside. I like doing it and I need something that makes me feel good. A bikini is something I would also like to own again. I promise, no weights to make me buff and manly. Whatever that used to mean. Haha.

I'll try and blog as much as I can. It helps me process. Plus I need to talk to you. I know you see us, but this is concrete. I just wish you would talk back.

Oh yeah, David made us black eyed peas and collards, so don't worry, we ate that and even Charlotte tried the black eyed peas. We didn't get "my babies" black eyed peas because David says it takes forever to make them. Really? You did it and they tasted fine. Who knows? 

WOW! Look at those amazing cookies!

Charlotte helping Daddy clean the collards

My Chick-a-dee

Charlotte was a Chicken for her second Halloween. She didn't go Trick or Treating but she did go to the Fall Festival at Ocean Lakes High School where all of my students oohed and aahed about her. Everyone else did too. I mean, come on, that chick is ADORABLE!! She got to play games and see lots of other teacher's kids roaming around. She really enjoyed playing with the older kids and ran after many of them. Right across the football field. 

Can't catch me Mama and Daddy!

Melmo and MOUSE!!

I always wondered how one year olds chose their "favorite" toys. Now I know. Charlotte has many, many books, but there are only two that she wants to read. One is called "It's Not Easy Being Big" about Big Bird and Small Elmo. The other is a book about Elmo getting caught on a kite and flying back to Sesame Street. She LOVES Elmo and she refers to him as "Melmo" whenever she sees any image of him.

Charlotte's favorite book!!

Charlotte has also discovered The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. She now screams MOUSE at the top of her lungs anytime she sees Mickey Mouse. Grandma said she did that the other day in Barnes and Noble when she saw the Mickey Mouse book so that was what she got!! She will also dance to the "Hot Dog Hot Dog Hot Diggity Dog" song whenever it comes on.

Hot DAWG!

She loves dancing!!!

Birthday Girl!

Charlotte celebrated her birthday twice this year. Once on September 11, 2011 with lots of family and friends and once on her real birthday on September 15, 2011 with Mommy, Daddy, Grandma Judy, and Grandma and Grandpa Styron. She enjoyed herself both days! She got lots of great presents and had a little bit of cake. She wasn't really sure what to think about it at first. Then she started poking at the icing. Yummy! It ended up looking like hot pink lipstick though!

Hey you! I am one!

She loved her new baby dolls, toys and her new clothes. Her grandma gave her the carriage her mother used, and she used, and I used and now she will use to push around our old baby doll "Judy."

Baby!!

On her real birthday she had a photo session, of course, and grandma got some gorgeous shots!

Yes, I am a fairy princess!

Walk this Way

She stands and delivers...and now she walks!! Charlotte began standing pretty proficiently a few weeks ago and now she is walking! She took a few steps here and there and then I dropped her off at the babysitter on Thursday. When I picked her up she told me that she had been walking all over! How rude of Charlotte to do that without me there! But she soon walked for me and Daddy and Grandma and now she toddles all over and then lands on her behind and gets up and does it again.

Step One

Step Two

And we're off...